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11 years ago

Dear Brandy,
It was 11 years ago today that we met.  We had stayed up all night on the phone and at like 2 am Val asked if you wanted to go to NYC to sign her divorce papers.  We met in a starbucks and made out in the bathroom.  Our connection and passion were undeniable.  Even though we didn't work out as a couple, we became the best of friends.  When you chose to take your life, I was broken.  Part of me thought, "She beat me to it."  I knew that I had to take care of my mental health after that.  Your death was my wakeup call.  It took me a long time, and it's been hard but today I realized I might not be broken anymore.  It's kind of scary to realize.  I still think about you daily, there is a whole year of my life that I shared with you and nobody else knows about.  David Enchilada, the starbucks barista we wanted to adopt, breakfast on the roof...  Sometimes my mind is haze on things and I don't have anyone I can call up to remind me anymore.  So today, on our 11-year anniversary, I decided to start writing to you.  All of those times when i have a memory that only you would understand I will write you, and hopefully I will not forget...
I hate that you left me but I still love you.
~M

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